rilly4gt10

[ Shed Off Station / 解脫 ]

Saturday, November 20, 2004

hi~ itz me again~ ur everyday annoyed/disturbed/irritated human being surviving on this everyday self destructive earth... yeah yeah i know itz abit too earli to wake up to fill in the boring old blog where no peeps bother to look tru, but W.T.H., do u think this is wat i want? this is wat i get for working 12 hrs a dae, plus added black eye rings, bad temper and loads of complaints...
ok ok i admit it.... i'm here because of some left over spontaniety from yesterdae night when i wrote that long and irritated-based entry. therefore the title for todae morning's topic. all this over flowing spontaniety is realli killing me wif all the urges to write wat i m thinking.... now i understand y there is something called a diary or is it dairy... pardon my inglish.... coz i've not realli been using it since my JC daes ya? wif forgiveness comes grace... i hope so.... is there such a phrase? or did i juz invent something before the preacher even did? haiz... forget that, i'm blabbering awae again...
yesterdae nite chatted wif 2 colleagues over the phone abt office stuff and such and it is as tho that both of them are in their v own worlds and hold so many different views abt each another.... how long is this gonna go on until? haiz... wonder... wonder... wonder.... all these will never end unless someone realli comes along and put a stop to all these... might as well juz organise a, ard the fireplace chit-chat and everyone juz trash things out as they realli wanted alwaes to... yeapz... thats wat i think wld be the very best for them.... haiz... office politics... itz everywhere and it sux... realli sux big time... so... WATEVA..... *puh...*
yeap yeap for now, the next topic of all i've been wanting to pen down all week long... haiz.... BIG time prob manz... i haf tiz fren of mine who juz found his v 1st love. howeva seems tho this "1L" is so popular wif the other gender tt (i wld use IT in tiz case) it can neva stop mingling ard wif em. itz either she starts mingling or they start to mingle wif her... so either way, it realli is hurting for mi fren u see.... *feels the pain* hehe~ howeva one thing is that it plays ard alot in front of mi fren... i mean wat u do behind mi fren's back is ok s-long-s mi fren doesn't know or doesn't see... but right in front of him it does these things and it realli will and i mean realli will hurt that person deepli esp if it were me... so... plz... all frens who are out there reading this boring blog of mine, plz do not do this kind of things in front of ur other half coz it will cut so deepli that there might neva be any ways to recover from it. i do admit that playing will enrich one's life howeva... playing has a limit, not all kinds of playing is acceptable... haiz... poor fren of mine...
my fren told me this "sometimes giving up realli is the best solution, but alwaes comes the thought tt if 'if i give up now, wld i eva know wat will happen if i try' and thus i held on." i do agree wif wat he said and tried to aid him wif all comforts that come to mind but den... reality is alwaes cruel, wat other peeps sae can neva eva defeat wat reality shows. so cruel, cruel, cruel is this world that it realli starts to annoy me from all factors... haiz... "there are times when i realli reach the limit of tolerance and i feel realli realli to tell "IT" that i can't take it animore but den "IT" would so come along and comfort me so much so that i can neva let this relationship go. this frequent reassurance realli is wat pushes me along in this rls... i alwaes tell myself i can't give this up... coz i realli put alot of effort in this" haiz... my fren... haiz.... " "it" told me tt luv shd b kept in the heart, juz tt each other know is enuff alreadi do nt nid to sae out,but den... if u dun sae it u dun show it either... how do i know "iT' realli loves me?" haiz.... oh my oh my... my fren... my dear fren... do be strong... u will survive this......
from den on, i've been wondering... is this realli a test for him? a test of his will in this rls, a test of how he will survive all these turmoils and how one can overcome all odds.... but den to think back clearli on this, are we realli playing out "Survivor" in real life? i mean tiz is rls nt some game show or something... if happiness wld be seen as the prize money received, den y can't one BUY happiness instead of going ard.... tiz is realli ridiculous... and i do feel that itz v unfair to those who realli puts in effort and in the v end reaps full load of shit... haiz.... y... y... such an unfair world exist.... so saddistic is this world, so pessimistic it makes the ppl, so depleting is life on this world it realli is the worst place to be in... perhaps loneliness on the moon wld b far better off den all these meddlesome affairs on earth....
think i will end my entry here.... time to work... phones ringing... hell itz saturdae... haiz... phones ringing, ringing, ringing..... haiz.... gd bye frens, gd bye blog readers, gd bye sun, gd bye moon, gd bye to the world, gd bye earth, gd bye universe, gd bye to me....

[P.S.: i'll alwaes love u. alwaes do.... neva change.... till the end. i hope u too do love me alwaes... no matter wat u do i'll try to bear wif it allow u all the fredom needed... thanks god for ya gift.... *A-MEN*]

遗忘记录史 9:37 AM