Saturday, December 25, 2004
hahaha... hah... hah... hahaha.... haha... hah... hahaha...... *sobz sobz* (a mixture of hysterical/foolish/idiotic/pathetic laffter + loads of tears) haiz..... y m i the sort who is so weak in feelings? y muz i be the one... hmmm... nvm tt suppose to b xmas, the season of giving.... giving awae all tt u haf, all tt u wanna give and all tt u can give.... so be it den... i will nt want to upset my blog also... itz a holidae after all... shd give u a rest too... guess itz tt time again tt i'm reminded so much of her.... i'm in office earli again to listen to them sad songs again....hahahha.... guess the Long Island did it last nite.... so gd to feel high again... laying thr enjoy the kick of the alcohol sinking in slowly.... all is coming back to me now... those daes i had in JC where i drowned myself in alcohol... that feeling of despair and sadness welll least the alcohol takes it all awae.... glad tt L.I. helped put me to sleep n nt think abt it all.... guess my next best confidant other den this blog is alcohol ba.... guess from 2dae onwards 1 or 2 bottz per daes shd b fine.... i've found a fren, a fren in u alcohol... plz b my best fren n nt leave me....
guess ttz all i wish to sae.... gd bye blog... merry xmas to u and to those who cared n bothered to read...
Macy Gray - I Try
Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I belive that fate has brought us here
And we should be together babe
But we're notI play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin'
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin'
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I chokeI try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Here is my confession
May I be your possession
Boy, I need your touch
Your love, kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
Deny
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
(but I'm dreaming of you babe)
And I'll keep my cool, but I'm feenin'
I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(when you are not near aahh)
Goodbye and I choke
(yeah, yeah, yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble
(hey, hey, hey)
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
(say it Lord)
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
(I'm choking)
I try to walk away and I stumbe
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(when you are not near, yeah, yeah yeah)
Yeah, yeah..
Even in my heart I see
You're not bein' true to me
Deep within my soul I feel
Nothing's like it used to be
Sometimes I wish I could turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad baby
Quit playin' games with my heart
Chorus:Quit playin' games with my heart
Before you tear us apart
I should've known from the start
Before you got into my heart
I live my life the way
To keep you comin' back to me
Everything I do is for you so
So what is it that you can't see
Sometimes I wish I could
Turn back time, impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad
You better quit playin' games with my heart
ChorusQuit playin' games
Baby, baby the love that we had was so strong
Don't leave me hangin' here forever
Oh baby, baby this is not a lie, let's stop
This tonight
Baby, quit playin' games
Sometimes I wish I could
Turn back time, impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad, baby
Quit playin' games with my heart
Chorus
爱，很简单 陶吉吉
忘了是怎么开始也许就是对你一种感觉忽然间发现自己已深深爱上你 真的很简单爱的地暗天黑都已无所谓是是非非无法抉择没有后悔 为爱日夜去跟随那个疯狂的人是我 喔～I LOVE YOU 无法不爱著你 BABY 说你也爱我I LOVE YOU 永远不愿意 BABY 失去你不可能更快乐 只要能在一起 做什么都可以虽然世界变个不停 用最真诚的心 让爱变的简单I LOVE YOU 我一直在这里 一直在爱你I LOVE YOU(yes I do)永远都不放弃 这爱的权利如果你还有一些困惑 Oh No 请贴著我的心倾听听我说著爱你(yes I do)我爱你
普通朋友
等待 我随时随地在等待 做你感情上的依赖我没有任何的疑问 这是爱 我猜 你早就想要说明白我觉得自己好失败 从天堂掉落到深渊多无奈 我愿意改变 (what can I do?)重新再来一遍(just give me chance)我无法只是普通朋友 感情已那么深 叫我怎么能收手但你说 I only want to be your friend 做个朋友我猜你心中只是 just a friend 不是情人我感激你对我这样的坦白 但我给你的爱暂时收不回来So I 我不能只是 be your friend I just can't beyour friend no,no,no,我不能只是做你的朋友不能只是做普通朋友
流砂
并不是真的路过而已 并不是真的不会想你全都不是真的是骗自己 其实还爱你爱着你我以为我早想清楚 不由自主恍恍惚惚又走回头路 再看一眼有过的幸福爱情好像流沙 我不挣扎 随它去吧 我不害怕爱情好像流沙 心里的牵挂 不愿放下ON BABY 让我这样吧 爱情好像流沙 我不说话等待黑暗 让泪能流下 爱情好像流沙 明知该躲它无法自拔 OH BABY 是我太傻 是一再的做一再的错不由我 我一步一步一步一步 慢慢走向流沙
天亮
半夜醒来有事一个人 习惯热闹的我不之该怎么办曾经拥有美丽我的梦 疲倦的心早已不奢求能挽回感觉就像还留着甜蜜的回忆 Baby I'm sorry Baby I'm sorry把一切藏心底 不愿忘记就让它过去 我想就快天亮了吧我睡不着 因为没有你 我想就快天亮的吧 等不到你分不清自己 独自走在冰冷的夜晚 擦身而过的你已不再孤单爱你的心已经 以随着你离去的背影一步一步走出我无力的心我想就快天亮了吧我们曾经在这里 我想就快天亮了吧 没有感觉 没有感觉我的心 Baby I'm sorry Baby I'm sorry 把一切藏心底我要忘记这段过去 我想就快天亮了吧 我很清醒 还没有醉意 我想就快天亮了吧 失去了你 已没有关系
遗忘记录史 9:30 AM
Sunday, December 19, 2004
i muz haf been realli ignorant all this while... haiz... i've not noticed at all.. still lingering on how much pain i felt during my break up.... coz she has moved on long ago... long long b4 i knew it... haiz... guesss i've spent my time foolishly trying to get back wat was realli nt worth it at all... nw i understand that it doesn't pay to be good... nw i know y in the first place she had told me nt to put any feelings in at all and y all the apologies of being afraid she wld hurt me in the first place.... guess itz all part of her usual rls terms and conditions... haiz... i'm such a fool realli nt knowing wat i m doing in life.... haiz... i shd be punished for so much negligence....
haiz... great... everyone ard me is so happie... dunnoe y... onli me like in a dark corner on my own.. juz like on stage, the spotlight focusing on me leaving everyone in the dark showing loads of happie faces... the spotlight focusing on the deeply in tot me thinking of wat i shd haf done in the first place when everyone realli told me to move on... guess i was juz stubborn... in my v own wae... i still haf nt learn from my mistakes... juz that i've been realli stubborn all along in my life... trying to get wat i want by juz being attitude.... no such thing cld happen haiz... nw i learnt it... i shall learn from my mistakes... n nt be a fool at all... least she is happieli in luv now... that she has found someone that she feels love her in the wae that she realli wants to be loved... guess nt all like to be pampered... guess i was juz nt "good" enuff for her... haiz... wat in the world haf i been doing all my life... punishments haf come one after another... guess thats the wae my life shd be... punishment after punishments... perhaps even after i die i shall be punished.... oh no... guess itz time to go....
they haf finished doing the closing... haiz... god... bless me please.... i'm in such a down state i guess i cannot pull myself together any longer.... guess it realli is worse... i will neva eva find a colleague to be my other half eva after........................................ thank u blog for letting me type all these down... thanks for letting me share my sad tots.... i think i'm going crazy..... thanks for being here when my parents aren't of any help at all.... haiz... thanks... thanks... thanks.... tha...................
遗忘记录史 8:40 PM
才离开没多久就开始
担心今天的妳过得好不好
整个画面是妳
想妳想的睡不着
嘴嘟嘟那可爱的模样
还有在妳身上香香的味道
我的快乐是妳
想妳想的都会笑
没有妳在我有多难熬
(没有妳在我有多难熬多烦恼)
没有妳烦我有多烦恼
(没有妳烦我有多烦恼多难熬)
穿过云层
我试着努力向妳奔跑
爱才送到
妳却已在别人怀抱
就是开不了口
让她知道
我一定会呵护着妳
也逗妳笑
妳对我有多重要
我后悔没
让妳知道
安静的听妳撒娇
看妳睡着
一直到老
就是开不了口
让她知道
就是那么简单几句
我办不到
整颗心悬在半空
我只能够
远远看着
这些我都做得到
但那个人已经不是我
只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴
安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道
你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我
也只是曾经
希钦娴谋任一挂?
我才会逼自己离开
你要我说多难堪
我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份
包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多
我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开
我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份
安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你
是因为我太爱你
走在熙来攘往的街头
你不再牵着我的手小心翼翼的将你的小指勾
泪也小心翼翼的流有些事情你在瞒着我
你终于还是开了口淡淡一句～
还是朋友
撕裂的心犹如刀割
知道分手后你不难过
你比从前快乐
那祝福的话叫我如何能够说的出口
过往的欢乐是否褪色
想问你怎么舍得
不要在耳边再说你会想我
有谁能比我知道
你的温柔像羽毛
秘密躺在我怀抱
只有你能听得到
还有没有人知道
你的微笑像拥抱
多想藏着你的好
只有我看得到
站在屋顶只对风说
不想被左右
本来讨厌下雨的天空
直到听见有人说爱我
坐在电影院的二楼
看人群走过
怎么那一天的我们
都默默的微笑很久
我想我是太过依赖
在挂电话的刚才
坚持学单纯的小孩
静静看守这份爱
知道不能太依赖
怕你会把我宠坏
你的香味一直徘徊
我舍不得离开
遗忘记录史 9:50 AM
Saturday, December 18, 2004
arlow~ itz me again... the same old me... trying to find new meaning in life... welll wat can i do to make things easier? i'm such a loser, guess by now everyone is like thinkin y am i so negative abt all the small things happening in my life as compared to other cases of catastrophe on-going all around me... satellites may be falling out of the sky, planes crashing, running out of the track, buildings collapsing, earthquakes, floods.... haiz... y... y... juz coz these things aren't happening to me so i can't be bothered abt them ttz y...
oh no wasted one paragraph on nonsense... haiz... same old me... i felt like i've been thrown into a cell... i onli haf the key to enter it and not to exit... haiz.... so dark and lonely.. all i can communicate wif are the cockroaches and ants that come crawling by.... all i can hear is a voice telling mi how much a failure i was and y i had ended up like that... alls done and over wif, wat i m suppose to do... all nt done and left aside.. "u're such a useless bum" i hear the voice calling out everi moment i try nt to think abt it... haiz... tt voice so familiar... seems tho it has been in me for so long... it is that voice thats alwaes there to pull mi down further into my miseries everytime i'm feeling down or beaten... haiz... why... tiz sound makes me so vulnerable, makes me so weak and wanna crumble... haiz.... back to life... enuff of those sillie descriptive words.... haiz... reality still hafta be faced....
i'm under so thick a mask nowadaes i dunnoe where the real me is... from my sec sch daees been mixing ard gals all my life, perhaps i'm being punished for my JC daes being so flirt for nothing.... haiz... shd haf learnt nt to do so earlier... thanks for punishing me heaven, thanks for making me learn, thanks for letting me know how it feels to go thru pain and such... guess that onli tru own mistakes can one person realli learn to grow and mature.... i m indeed immature in luv matters coz i juz went tru a test which i failed terribly... so nw is the time i nid to wake up, walk awae from life and think of wat i did wrong and hope that luv comes by someday one in which i can realli devote in...
i admit that the last one was short... though it lasted one month but... feelings were dead since 2 weeks into the rls... i'm sorrie for being so insensitive to others feelings... and i'm so sorrie for nt being understanding at all ... guess all my fault that i juz can't accomodate to others.... my very own negligence lead to great downfalls in my life, in my studies, my frenships and now my v 1st rls.... finallie i understand but yet i m unwilling to learn... i'm juz stubborn...
guess v much of this is why i'm such a loneli person haiz.. tiz isn't gd at all ... nt for me nt for anybody... lonely souls shdn't unite, instead they wld make the world an even lonelier place.... haiz... i shdn't exist either... it will juz make the world abit unhappier... can things eva change? i dun thinnk so since it is nt in my case.... haiz... how do i get out of this pain...here comes an irritating customer to bother me wif all her nonsense... haiz... .how to save myself...
my eyebrows are stuck together.... haiz... they can't separate at all... haiz.............................................................................................................................................................
I'm not a perfect person As many things I wish I didn't do But I continue learning I never meant to do those things to you And so I have to say before I go That I just want you to know I've found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new and the reason is you I'm sorry that I hurt you It's something I must live with everyday And all the pain I put you throughI wish that I could take it all away And be the one who catches all your tears Thats why i need you to hear I've found a resaon for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over newand the reason is You [x4] I'm not a perfect person I never meant to do those things to you And so I have to say before I go That I just want you to know I've found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new and the reason is you I've found a reason to show A side of me you didn't know A reason for all that I do And the reason is you
Beauty queen of only eighteen She had some trouble with herself He was always there to help her She always belonged to someone else I drove for miles and miles And wound up at your door I've had you so many times but somehow I want more I don't mind spending everyday Out on your corner in the pouring rain Look for the girl with the broken smile Ask her if she wants to stay awhile And she will be loved She will be loved Tap on my window knock on my door I want to make you feel beautiful I know I tend to get insecure It doesn't matter anymore It's not always rainbows and butterflies It's compromise that moves us along My heart is full and my door's always open You can come anytime you want I don't mind spending everyday Out on your corner in the pouring rain Look for the girl with the broken smile Ask her if she wants to stay awhile And she will be loved She will be loved I know where you hide Alone in your car Know all of the things that make you who you areI know that goodbye means nothing at all Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
遗忘记录史 10:43 AM
Friday, December 17, 2004
hi... itz me again.... 5 daes since break up dae... still full of sorrow and sadness... evridae hafta go tru same old problem of seeing her time and again... haiz... nt tt i'm sick of seeing her or aniting... juz that... haiz... juz wanna be wif her like before... or maybe we neva had been cept for the 1st 2 weeks... *sobz...* i know this doesn't involve any readers... juz wanna tell my blog only... haiz... sorrie for those who haf read for nothing...
anyway... she is collecting her N level results todae and haiz... shes been so negative abt it i dunnoe wat wae i can make her feel betta... but well... she is the happie go luckie sort... so juz wish her luck might be the best, least i think deep down she will understand and appreciate that i reallie wish her luck... or maybe she will juz put it at the back of her head and nt be reminded of it at all since i do mean nothing to her at all now... kz... ttz for tt... i pray for her now sincerely that she reallie achieve great results... haiz...
i've been a jerk recently... nt sure y i can't juz forget her the wae as normal and treat her like a gd fren... haiz... tot i cld do it but i can't, i've been treating her badly all along and so far become such an arrogant person all of a sudden... haiz... i dunnoe y this is happening but it hurts myself to see mi revert to my old ways of dealing wif a loss... haiz... i m stubborn indeed i dun deny.... but den haiz... i dunnoe... i perhaps m juz foolishly stubborn... thanks for all who i haf approached and offered comfort in each of ur own ways... those who offered to share their worse den mine situation, those who shared their opinions wif me... and those who offered to drown my sorrows wif beer (i'm sorrie no time to go wif u guys coz i work till so damn late and start so damn erli...) but den.. .i wld rather drown in sorrow den to treat things as normal...
i've been living behind tiz v fake me since that dae she asked to be frens... itz almost lyk i'm putting on a mask to work when i talk to her or when i wanna joke wif her... itz all so fake... such a facade... and so plain i'd use the word, "plastic" like i used to use to when Wayne was wif me those daes... hahaha... plastic... plastic... plastic... haiz... so sad... itz juz so fake... argh.... so many mask so thick is the mask... it covers up all the pain and hurt that i m feeling.... haiz.......
ok ok... end here liaoz... new dae ahead... nid to start work le.... haiz... gd bye blog... gd bye everyone...
遗忘记录史 9:25 AM
in case u guys are wondering who tiz f*cker who keeps complaining is... tiz is me... the fake me... i'm juz an ordinary boy wishing to become as cool and punky as tiz.... hee... look at all the trash ttz on my wall... so sad...
遗忘记录史 9:22 AM
Monday, December 13, 2004
great... it was juz great yesterdae... it was my worst dae in my life, so much agony when i read that sms that came... it was the end, the end of all my hopez... no matter wat i did i cldn't revive this hope. it was like *pooof* and it was gone... vanished into thin air no where to be found... if u r wondering wat i'm saying, itz my gf... she told me it was time to break... after all this while i finallie realised, i finallie realised that i was totalli in the wrong for all along in the rls....
i know admitting now doesn't help at all coz itz nt going to save anything not even the slimmest of hope for reconciliation... i've realli gotta go and kill myself or something but den suicide tots are juz foolish.. nobody wld wanna do that for gods sake or for anyone elses sake. now i dun even dare to look tru my phone... everything inside has her traces or even herself in it... haiz... i've brought all these misery to myself... it now time for me to face all the sorrow and punishment alone.
from last nites sms-es i finallie realise that i've been the one causing all the pain for her wif all the foolish things that i've shown her. wat was i thinking putting up all those nicks for her to see... it defeated my real purpose and created so much pain for her when ppl go ard asking her abt wat happened to me when she dun even realli know wat happened... i was being so insensitive all the while... all my paranoia and wandering tots lead me to all those stupid things that i've said... itz no wonder that shes feeling so much pressure and beginning to lyk me less and less over the daes till finallie when we confronted yesterdae tt she reallie admitted she cannot hold out any longer... haiz... wat haf i done... crying doesn't help, hitting myself doesn't either... blaming juz adds on to more miserie... it juz sux to reallie finallie realise tt i've been the big jerk all this while who caused so much pain to the one i love most. nw that shes so determined to give up tt i feel that i've lost all that i haf... my own happiness, everything left thats gd and that i can rely on.... i'm an onli child, my family members are unreliable... haiz.. was looking to realli rely on this rls to give me all the companionship i've been looking for... but now i realise deep down that i myself destroyed all this single handedly wif all the things i've done....
i so regret all these... tears are starting to fall... i can't hold them back any longer.... if onli i had asked her earlier and told her how i felt to sort things out den things wld haf been betta... but now... itz juz too late... y do i alwaes hafta wait till i realli lose something then i will know wat value it holds dearly in my life... i've been cheating myself all along saying how much i've loved her and cared for her.... in fact all i've brought to her was juz a whole bunch of misery and nothing else... i'm so sorry to u patricia.... for causing all those painful memories in our rls... if u r reading this... i hope u will understand that i've put those nicks juz to wanna let u know i care so much for u it hurts when u dun understand me and that i wished u wld haf shown that u cared but instead it caused the opposite of wat i wanted.... ppl came asking u wat u did to me and irritated u so much... i shd haf juz kept our rls to our own and nt involve everyone else ard us... itz all my fault that u haf to go tru all that. i still love u no matter how much u sae tiz feeling and rls is over... i juz can't put it down juz like that... haiz... u haf no wrong in this... itz all my wishful thinking not bothering to sort things out face to face instead... i've gone tru the wrong media to get wat i haf wanted and i'm now severely punished by that for losing u all my life... frens u sae u wanna be... i will try... but itz v hard for me to do so...itz realli v hard... haiz... i'll try.... but no promises....
at least nw i've learnt tt dun alwaes wait till everything cannot be saved den start to treasure it. things taken for granted will alwaes be lost in the end. nobody wants to lose wat they treasure the most... itz nt worth it to lose this kind of things. if theres doubt, clear things out, itz betta that wae... i've lost wat i haf due to the above points... i will learn to change them... but i hope that the rls still can be saved and carried on... haiz... pls do give me another chance to be ur bf if possible... nt nw, but in the future after i've changed...
dear blog thanks for listening... i know i'm going to become autistic soon, my lack of self confidence and paranoia has realli caused me alot of frenz lost and alot of treasured ppl missed out... i'm losing myself to my dark side... i'm juz gonna be an empty person soon... so empty theres nothing to know abt me, i'm juz like an open book wif empty pages, ppl juz open and forget abt me the next minute... a book, empty as it is, is so sad to be even read... or looked upon... from that emptiness alot can be seen... happie moments n sad moments but most of all itz juz idiocracy and foolishness playing part....who in the world can see these things from emptiness? haiz... i'm going mad think i nid therapy.... no therapy juz doesn't help... i juz nid to hide in one dark corner awae from people...
遗忘记录史 9:28 AM
Sunday, December 05, 2004
itz me again... same old me... wif same old problems... [notice i'm trying to start on a high note wif my title? but den... a high note is hard to find in life... so be it... let me be this way...] when will hell really break lose? haiz... y do i alwaes appear so sad? coz i'm paranoid ttz y... i'm so paranoid of everything... i rather live in a void if there's a choice, i rather stay in a place where i dun hafta care abt anything, juz live life as it is... to me now... even loneliness seems a betta choice den having company ard me.
bah~... all these lies and irresponsibilities.... the tying down of one another person... all these is so tiring... haiz... who is tying down who... the question lies awake waiting to be answered by the person who would at least try to give it some due consideration... haiz... when will this qn ever be answered? "neva if u dun try" peeps will sae, but den try as u might answers not so easi to be found... thinking of things alone lets u realli reach deep into yourself and ponder wat u realli think is happening and thats wat i'm doing now... into office so earli that customers are waiting to break down the company's doors... *sighz* so well... i'm still so deepli in tots that i rather pen down everything in my trusty blog who i think nowadaes nobody bothers to read abt my problems =) [oh mi god... a smile... that was hard to gather...].
can i realli eva let go... coz wheneva i see that pic i'm alwaes reminded of how much i reallie like her or rather how much i m hurt by all the things she do, the waes she behave in and the waes she thinks she is showing that she still have something for me deep down... all these seem so superficial.... till now i still feel ultimateli unconfirm wif the status that i shd haf... all these seems more like a dream to me than any other thing... seems so real yet so hurting in all forms when things juz happen.... y do dreams hafta hurt so bad... but den again... dreams are dreams... shd all be ova soon i hope... if thats eva gonna happen... i hope it realli ends soon... nt by mi but by all other sources.... haiz... when, when will things straighten out... i neva dare to ask of the other party nor tell the other party abt all my tots and stuff... coz, i'm juz nt a gd conversator who can speak his mind wif ease and nt anger nor affect the other party... sarcasm wld flow, doubtful statements made, irritation occurs and everything wld come out to a huge mess... all this is so unfair... i'm so v tied down by my own limitations and yet i hafta make myself into another person's ideal...
putting all that aside coz if i go on any further tears wld flow... i'm thinking too much, too much to be written down... more of it are confidential... least... to my own benefit... anyway, i'm writing here coz she neva bothers to read this at all.... claims she dun like books... so i alwaes make my entries s-long-s posb to prevent her from wanting to read.... onli those who realli cares bothers to read afterall... [thanks all who read till here]
damn father of mine... still so unrepentant for all the things he has done... juz coz i'm working and can't provide him wif S$20 he juz blasted at me for nothing... is $$$ so important to him that even family means nothing? if it realli is that case... den y dun he juz buy a money making family instead of wanting to make one of his own and try to make it all come to this? is this wat he realli wanted? all of these years of hard work to set up a family juz to look for moneytary returns? wow... wat an investment he has made... but too bad... he neglected all his "investments" years ago and now... he realises that funds are running low, brings his stomach full or pride along and try to solicit as much money as he can that wldn't hurt his pride at all... is this kind of fatherli behaviour acceptable? how can this be happening... it shdn't be this way at all...
on trains i see happie families... i do not haf.... i see happie couples... which i wish cld realli be so in my own case.... i see ppl wif gd looks... well that one i can't help it coz i realli m nt made out for such things... i see ppl wif loads of frens.... erm... wat can i sae... i'm juz a shut-out myself... i hate big grps... i juz rather be wif the person i love... juz be the two of us and no others... i'm autistic k... i admit... i m in my latest stage of autistism can? does that satisfie all of the other frenzz who wonder y i no longer contact u all?
well thanks think i will end right here.... other colleagues are coming in... it shd all juz end here and be well.... thanks for hearing me out blog... everything is written in her favourite colour... nt mine... juz haiz... so much for wanting to sae "i luv u dear" all goes down to nothing... so... haiz... still wanna sae it... "i realli luv u deepli... hope u will understand and reciprocate..."
遗忘记录史 9:31 AM