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Things have been said, things need to be done.
Decisions must always be final, otherwise decisions will be waster.
Always make the best decisions so things can be done.
Time is not always on our side,
Do the best we can with time.
Best viewed with love.
Pls leave a tag!!~
listen to other's problems, basketball (playing and watching), daydreaming.
loyal to the ones loved by me, take as much time as possible in toilets.
Toilet times are the most personal and quiet time of your lives,
good for thinking alot of things,
especially in the morning when you just wake up.
and for dozing off on the toilet bowl haha~!
World is full of surprises for the unexpected,
so are you, so full of surprises for the unexpectant world out there.
alwaes thinking that whatever comes in dreams happen in reality
enjoys self-deceit~ (^_^)
Sunday, December 05, 2004
itz me again... same old me... wif same old problems... [notice i'm trying to start on a high note wif my title? but den... a high note is hard to find in life... so be it... let me be this way...] when will hell really break lose? haiz... y do i alwaes appear so sad? coz i'm paranoid ttz y... i'm so paranoid of everything... i rather live in a void if there's a choice, i rather stay in a place where i dun hafta care abt anything, juz live life as it is... to me now... even loneliness seems a betta choice den having company ard me.
bah~... all these lies and irresponsibilities.... the tying down of one another person... all these is so tiring... haiz... who is tying down who... the question lies awake waiting to be answered by the person who would at least try to give it some due consideration... haiz... when will this qn ever be answered? "neva if u dun try" peeps will sae, but den try as u might answers not so easi to be found... thinking of things alone lets u realli reach deep into yourself and ponder wat u realli think is happening and thats wat i'm doing now... into office so earli that customers are waiting to break down the company's doors... *sighz* so well... i'm still so deepli in tots that i rather pen down everything in my trusty blog who i think nowadaes nobody bothers to read abt my problems =) [oh mi god... a smile... that was hard to gather...].
can i realli eva let go... coz wheneva i see that pic i'm alwaes reminded of how much i reallie like her or rather how much i m hurt by all the things she do, the waes she behave in and the waes she thinks she is showing that she still have something for me deep down... all these seem so superficial.... till now i still feel ultimateli unconfirm wif the status that i shd haf... all these seems more like a dream to me than any other thing... seems so real yet so hurting in all forms when things juz happen.... y do dreams hafta hurt so bad... but den again... dreams are dreams... shd all be ova soon i hope... if thats eva gonna happen... i hope it realli ends soon... nt by mi but by all other sources.... haiz... when, when will things straighten out... i neva dare to ask of the other party nor tell the other party abt all my tots and stuff... coz, i'm juz nt a gd conversator who can speak his mind wif ease and nt anger nor affect the other party... sarcasm wld flow, doubtful statements made, irritation occurs and everything wld come out to a huge mess... all this is so unfair... i'm so v tied down by my own limitations and yet i hafta make myself into another person's ideal...
putting all that aside coz if i go on any further tears wld flow... i'm thinking too much, too much to be written down... more of it are confidential... least... to my own benefit... anyway, i'm writing here coz she neva bothers to read this at all.... claims she dun like books... so i alwaes make my entries s-long-s posb to prevent her from wanting to read.... onli those who realli cares bothers to read afterall... [thanks all who read till here]
damn father of mine... still so unrepentant for all the things he has done... juz coz i'm working and can't provide him wif S$20 he juz blasted at me for nothing... is $$$ so important to him that even family means nothing? if it realli is that case... den y dun he juz buy a money making family instead of wanting to make one of his own and try to make it all come to this? is this wat he realli wanted? all of these years of hard work to set up a family juz to look for moneytary returns? wow... wat an investment he has made... but too bad... he neglected all his "investments" years ago and now... he realises that funds are running low, brings his stomach full or pride along and try to solicit as much money as he can that wldn't hurt his pride at all... is this kind of fatherli behaviour acceptable? how can this be happening... it shdn't be this way at all...
on trains i see happie families... i do not haf.... i see happie couples... which i wish cld realli be so in my own case.... i see ppl wif gd looks... well that one i can't help it coz i realli m nt made out for such things... i see ppl wif loads of frens.... erm... wat can i sae... i'm juz a shut-out myself... i hate big grps... i juz rather be wif the person i love... juz be the two of us and no others... i'm autistic k... i admit... i m in my latest stage of autistism can? does that satisfie all of the other frenzz who wonder y i no longer contact u all?
well thanks think i will end right here.... other colleagues are coming in... it shd all juz end here and be well.... thanks for hearing me out blog... everything is written in her favourite colour... nt mine... juz haiz... so much for wanting to sae "i luv u dear" all goes down to nothing... so... haiz... still wanna sae it... "i realli luv u deepli... hope u will understand and reciprocate..."
遗忘记录史 9:31 AM
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