Things have been said, things need to be done.
Decisions must always be final, otherwise decisions will be waster.
Always make the best decisions so things can be done.
Time is not always on our side,
Do the best we can with time.
Best viewed with love.
Pls leave a tag!!~
listen to other's problems, basketball (playing and watching), daydreaming.
loyal to the ones loved by me, take as much time as possible in toilets.
Toilet times are the most personal and quiet time of your lives,
good for thinking alot of things,
especially in the morning when you just wake up.
and for dozing off on the toilet bowl haha~!
World is full of surprises for the unexpected,
so are you, so full of surprises for the unexpectant world out there.
alwaes thinking that whatever comes in dreams happen in reality
enjoys self-deceit~ (^_^)
Monday, December 31, 2007
原來。。。
2007 年的遺憾。
原來，我沒有好好得分手。
原來，隱瞞並不是最好的逃避。
原來，我給予她如此大的傷害。
原來，我並不是一個好的愛人。
原來，我對她的承諾一個也沒有實現。
原來，我是這麽的狠心。
原來，我並不是我想象中那麽堅強。
原來，我只是爲了自己好而沒有顧慮到她的感受。
原來，我做的一切都是錯的。
原來，我的想法不是都對的。
原來，她是這麽的在意我怎麽對她。
原來，我是不適合談成熟的戀愛的人。
原來，我的信心只是表面般的堅強。
原來，内心根本一點都抵擋不了任何傷害。
原來，有這麽多的原來。
珊，對不起。。。我不是你最應該愛的人。
我想送妳的飛機，不是想要羞辱妳。
只是想完成我未完成的承諾。
只是想讓妳安心的離去。
隱瞞不是我的藉口。
只是不想讓妳難受。
妳不會原諒我。
我也不求妳原諒，畢竟錯的真的是我。
送妳的飛機只是我想讓我安撫心情的方法。
看到妳能夠安心的離開是我唯一想要的。
我不知道是誰告訴妳我和她的事情，
但是那已經不重要。
重要的是我隱瞞了妳。
不讓妳知道我已跟別人一起。
妳沒有錯。
因爲，錯的是我。
對不起。。。。
遗忘记录史 5:03 PM
今天是最後一天。
今年的最後一天。
這個月的最後一天。
這份工作的最後一天。
但是它是這個星期的第一天。
好奇怪。。。
明明就最後一天卻又是另一個的開始。
不管怎樣，還是最後一天啊。
今天也是她在亞洲國家的最後一天。
她即將飛往新西蘭，開始她的假期工作。
昨天和她通過電話。
她在電話裏還是很逞強。
聽到她在哭的那個聲音，心有一點軟了。
可是聽到她那個小孩子的想法又呈現出來，
不禁有的感覺是，生氣與氣餒。。。
當初離開她就是想要她學習堅強，可是孩子氣始終是孩子氣。
江山始終難移。在這裏，只能希望她到那裏回過的好好的。
昨天因爲和她通了電話，感覺到另一個她有點不開心。
我不是想要在妳面前表現到我跟她還有什麽。
因爲我跟她什麽都沒有了。
我只想她在離開前，不要帶著傷心的心情離開。
因爲她需要的是一個正確的心情她才能夠在那裏堅強的過者。
希望妳來了解。不要每次我和她通過電話后，妳就給我一臉沒信心的樣子。
我和妳說過，不要懷疑我們的愛，因爲我已經把妳當作我自己一般的看待。
妳已經是我生活的一部分了。。。
我們很多時候都心照不宣。
不知道是性格太相似還是真的想法太一致。
很炫很炫。。。
每次想到的東西，妳也會想到。
每次想說的東西，妳也會說出同樣的話語。
每次看到的東西，你也會看到。
這不像是巧合，因爲它太多時候都相像。
瞧我說到哪裏去了。。。
今天是最後一天嘛，哈哈~
我知道會有不捨得我的人。
也會有恨不得我快點走的人。
總而言之，我要走了。
你們也不必為我擔心或想太多吧。
因爲我走了對大家都好。
依賴我的可以學習自己照顧自己。
討厭我的，可以少一個眼中釘。
我的好同事閒朋友們，你們只不過離我不遠而已。
就一同簡訊，sms，email，省直電話，也可以聯絡到我。
我並不是消失人間。我們還是可以保持聯絡。除非你們選擇忘記我。
我今天不想看到人哭。。。
我不值得你們的眼淚浪費在我身上。
大家都不許哭。不許傷心。大家要為我開心。
哎呀。。。我還真的好多東西要搬走耶。
三年了的抽屜，是滿到~~~
好多大家帶團回來送的鎖匙扣等等小東西。
這裡的回憶多，畢竟我在這裡已經有1000+天了吧。。。
會想念這裡。
會想念座位。
會想念同事。
會想念老闆。
會想念電腦。
會想念所有在分行度過的生日。
好多同事一起慶祝。
大家一起在繁忙時候，忙裏偷閒的逞生日時小休一下。
那種感覺是挺好的。我會回頭看那些日子。不會輕易的忘記它。
這些都會是我最珍貴的回憶。
同事，公司，老闆，客人，座位。
保重了大家。
遗忘记录史 12:08 PM
Friday, December 28, 2007
人人都有坏习惯。。。我有，你有，他们也会有。。。
我觉得我有许多的坏习惯。。。哈哈~有一些还是很多人不知晓的吧。。。
喜欢打喷嚏的时候打的大大声的。
喜欢在厕所待个半小时以上，只为了有私人空间可以专心想东西。
把自己的欢乐寄托在别人的痛苦上。
抓别人的语病却不喜欢被别人抓。
当心情不好时，喜欢大吃大喝，借着吃东西来发泄。。。
不然就是乱乱花钱买一大堆东西然后丢在一旁不去收拾。。。 （很像女人?有一点吧。。。谁说男人就不能shopping？）
在人群中放暗屁，在家里放响屁~ 哈哈~!拜托，很多人都这样的吧。。。
跟人讲话时，除非是自己喜欢的人，不然眼睛会一直看着别边，尤其是当有美女走过时。。。
不喜欢用纸巾擦汗，因为会留下纸巾在脸上。
一碰到热天气就会流很多很多汗，然后就跑到aircon的地方去躲。。。
有好多好多啊。。。 还没写完的。。。也许想到了再加下去吧。。。
就写到这里。。。
遗忘记录史 10:04 AM
Thursday, December 27, 2007
刚刚和她通过msn联系了一下。。。“时间会让我成长，我会坚持下去!虽然痛，可是我还会撑下去的!" 是她的nick...
看到这样的nick，不知道为什么心里就是有一种不能解释的感觉。。。就也许。。。也许是我觉得我还是对不起她吧。，，
美，我知道你看到这个你一定会又对我们之间失去信心。。。真的对不起。。。但是你不需要担心。因为这只是一时的感受。。。
我不会让它影响我们的感情的~ 我向你保证!!!
说回来。。。跟她谈话的时候可以感受到她一直很坚强的在强忍着。。。
我不想说了。。。 心情给影响到坏透了。。。不想要说任何人的坏话，因为我珍惜友情。不想对别人残忍，因为我不舍得让朋友受伤。朋友我是会珍惜的。可是，朋友一旦做了让我不开心的事情，我会选择让事情过去而不让事情一直的浮现。。。这是我认为，成熟的面对方式吧。。。
珊，我真的希望你快乐，而不是活在（我也说不上）我知道我说什么对不起也是没有用的。。。我给于你的伤害，我自己也知道多深，只不过一直压抑着。我知道你现在不能马上开心，也很想跟我说。。。我不能对你说什么因为只会带给你跟多的伤害。。。我现在找到了自己的幸福，希望你也能够找到你自己的归宿。。。跟你说话时，不仅眼泪会泛泪，但是我知道我不可以哭因为这是我选择的路。。。希望你会好起来，毕竟你要出国了。你买了的字典，记得去读，不要浪费你在那里的时间。希望你回来了会看到一个成熟的你。。。
好烦啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
很想打人发泄一下下。。。也许明天就不来上班了。反正我的leave 还有。。。因为某件事情而失去工作信念是不是会太幼稚。。。我得慎重考虑。。。
遗忘记录史 5:37 PM
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
圣诞节过了，最后一天即将降临。。。
新加坡的圣诞节真的有点闷，倒数的人潮一点也不群体，而且倒数完了就走人。。。气氛真的很差很差。也许是因为在克拉码头倒数吧。。。那里的人都比较没什么。。。
我有一点在意一些东西，可是怕说出来会伤和气。。。 咳。。。还是别说吧。。。
今天是他弟弟的生日，愿他弟弟快快学成归来，身体健康，快快乐乐~
我要努力赚大钱，因为明年我想要去很多很多地方。。。
1) Batam
2) Redang
3) Taiwan
4) Hokkaido
5) Maybe HongKong or Malaysia
很难相信我在这间公司三年时间，一次也没去过台湾。。。其实是有机会的。只不过我推了几次。。。也许不是我想要带团去的地方，而是想要自己身为游客的身份去的地方~ 很久很久没有身为游客参加团队出国了。。。 好想念那种感觉.
遗忘记录史 1:41 PM
Monday, December 24, 2007
天啊。。。真是的。。。怎麽可能會發生這種事情？太驚天動地了啊。。。
我。。。
我。。。。
我。。。。。
我。。。。。。
我又浪漫了。。。*害羞* (=^.^=)
我趁她要回家時，送她到地鐵后，跑去買了她的聖誕禮物。。。
我想不到一個好的時機送給她，也不知道要包起來還是不要包。。。
不好意思寶貝，我沒有好好的把禮物包起來再送給你。。。可是我想那種呈現方係的送法，你應該會蠻喜歡的吧。。。
我記得妳說要有驚喜的聖誕節禮物，所以。。。 嘻嘻~!!
真的希望妳會喜歡那個我送妳的東西~！！！雖然不算什麽但是它代表了我的一番心意，我們的第一個聖誕節，第一份正式送妳的禮物，第一次對妳表現我的浪漫，第一次做的傻傻的事，第一次。。。 太多了，說不完~
看到妳和我父親那麽談得來，心裏也放心了許多。。。可是，想到將來要輪到我面對妳的父母，還有那個生日要到了的偉生，我不禁會緊張許多。。。但是，我知道妳會站在我這邊，就像我站在妳旁邊面對我父母一樣~所以我也就告訴我自己，不要害怕~！！
還有，明明啊。。。妳又發生了什麽事情？爲什麽這麽想？妳需要一段時間休息吧,坐下來好好想想。。。一個人迷失了是不能馬上找回自己，妳需要時間和協助，不要緊張或慌張，如果需要的話，我可以坐下和妳慢慢談啊？聖誕節要到了，要開心哦~*擁抱*
你最好注意，
你最好不哭，
你最好別叫，
我告訴你爲什麽。
聖誕老人到鎮來~！！
哈哈~！很lame leh~!!!
我沒有買到聖誕禮物喔。。。真是的。。。season of giving 變成了 season of receiving only... 今年的聖誕我不乖。。。收到禮物卻沒有送禮物。。。不知道我怎麽辦。。。
我的銀行也沒有多少錢了不知道接下來的日子要怎麽過。。。haiz...
老闆娘要出國了。。。不知道又會受到“那個女人”怎樣的欺負。。。很擔心這個分行的同事，被“她”折磨到怎樣。。。好可怕。。。每次老闆娘一出囯“她”就來發威，真的好可怕的“女人”~大家要小心~
遗忘记录史 10:13 AM
Saturday, December 22, 2007
i'm going to leave le oh... this company which i served 3 years liaoz... ever since Sep 2005... slogged my life out here... so much sweat and hard work gone into this company.
started out as a blur blur center parting gong gong boy... haha, Ms Charlie is a witness to that~ those specs and blurred looks that i held were way past my life... those days are gone~ haha! well, have learnt quite alot about this trade from this company, really benefitted from working at travel line, can see abit of every country and most importantly, long working hours to keep me away from home and spending relentlessly when i'm outside... not a big saver... not thrifty at all... thats one of my worst cons... how am i gonna get married in the future~? gonna start saving...
leaving this company is not easy...
1) boss is really good, understanding and such although always thinks on her side... (but what to do~? its family business lehz)
2) the colleagues... we have all bonded (no~! not that way u dirty thinking ppl) in one way or another, no matter whether you have only been here for a week, a few months or a few years... we are all friends, at work and at play... we have seen each other's crazy looks before, we have had good times, have had bad times, but bad times were never mentioned at the end of the day. seems like i put a long paragraph for this part haha~! those 3 DnD's that i have gone to... those crazy times~ really hope i can join you guys for this years, cos this batch is the batch whereby you guys have last longest~ =) we will still be friends i believe, do not worry as natural bonds don't break easily!!!!
3) do take care the following ppl :
Yvonne - my dearest da jie, i know you work really hard, we can see that from your sales... but you must also be careful in your work, i won't be there in front of you to assist you in your work, so i hope you can find someone else to be there for you. I've seen you sad before, for your ah lau during those hard times... really feel sad for you, seeing you cry. but those days are over and i wish you all the best in your future... wo zhen de fang bu xia ni zhe ge da jie~
Charlie - i know you like to lead a carefree life "jing shui bu fan he shui" that kind of thinking suits you the best... but one cannot just stop there, i know you don't want to be outstanding, your just want to mix into the crowd... but deep down in you there is that part of you that is outstanding, waiting for you to make it wake up. till that day happens, you must take care of yourself oh~
Minghuey - Ming ming arh ming ming, hehe~ or should call you Li Da Nai~! you are the 2nd one i fang bu xia de... although we know each other less than a year, from the day you started to join, have looked upon you like a good sister... don't want you to fall too hard and yet don't want to always have to support your. let you walk your way unless you are going to get lost den will i ever intervene... i know you feel tricked or bluffed by me when at that moment when you wanted to quit, i made you stay... i know that kind of feeling, but den, you had not a good plan before you chose to leave and at that moment i was afraid you were just too rash... but now after you have gone on a tour leading trip to Hokkaido, one of the tour that our branch really wished could get fell to you, i believe you have seen the world, you have seen how big the world is out there... you would have also cooled off abit therefore, your future decision i will respect if i feel is the best for you. but den, make sure you are happy with that decision cos it will change your life totally~ do take care, i'm not around to keep an eye on you.
Agnes, Jialing - time to grow up oh~ although you two are experience at this field le, what i mean is in life... your two have reached the age to start maturing/matured... so look forward... i know you two are fortunate to have good families of your own, but that doesn't mean you two can rely on them till old age... learn to be strong and not ignorant... to be tactful and not relentless... things are on going daily and not stagnant. things can never stay in place forever~ =)
Edwin & Denis (the brothers & bro) - you guys also slogged it out for this branch but never really got recognized... made lots of friends in this company i believe, our branch and other branches~ really enjoyed those times we had drank our hearts out~ haha~ esp ed, the 1st DnD, drank our hearts out and we went crazy at CQ... haha~ you guys i don't hafta worry, cos you guys have big plans ahead of you~! but do take care of yourselves anyway... dun wanna be wishy washy... even mushy... i will start vomitting...
Winston Loo - the ever blur... dear colleagues i seek your help to really look after him... he needs your help in every sector... he can really get on your nerves... but he does learn fast... just needs assurance... its the confidence in you that he seeks to set his heart at ease, not that he wants to ask and ask... he just needs to find that safe spot which is the reassurance~
To be continued... go and fix my computer first... haha~!
Ok fixed~!!! haha~! Continued....
well... there are others apart from my branch....
Evelin - my 2nd sister, with her crazy laughters~ well... kiap kiap is her Kou Tou Chan now... haha never got to understand what it ever means but well its useful enough to communicate with her~ haha will miss those days asking you to amend receipts and amending bookings for you~ haha! hope you take care of yourself also... i still can give you whatever advise you need through msn however i find that not all my advise you will use so... haha well you have the final say oh~ i hope you find someone of your dreams to be with you from now on~~~
HueyShan - Starcruise my dear, is one of the best products i love to sell~ haha~! all those bookings had almost 0% cork up which is everybody's favourite~ thanks for the gifts that you always can get and erm... your Roches never did reach me... not sure where they went though haha~!
Janet & Ivy - m'sia's experts... well... we started off not knowing each other but when we finally knew, you gals did take quite good care of me wor~ hehe~! really thanks to you gals for looking after me during my stay in FS~
Suk Fen & Iris - well the two "Lao Ku Gong Gao" voucher issuers~ they have to face tons of bookings daily, check everything, issue the vouchers and intercom staffs of what is wrong... i understand all the pressure that comes to you gals, hope you gals can find great Man Zu Gan in your work because you two really helped alot of people with finding the mistakes made~ hope you two will do well in your work in future and well "sorry" i can't be around to assist to amend those bookings~ well this kind of things other ppl can assist you~! hehe~!
enough abt work~
well... 美, you erm... guess i have never seen my dad talked so much about himself for a very long time... when was the last time he really talked like though he is chatting with a friend... it was like 10+ years since den ba... think he really likes to talk to you~ haha *envious* well no worries abt my mum, shes not hard to get along with, just that shes tired from working all day long... i'm glad to have you around cos somehow i know you will be the one to really pull together my rls with my parents~ I'm really grateful to have you around~ seriously!!! i was really happy to see my dad talk about his good old days apart from the usual nagging and complaining... (eh y am i typing english when my comp is fixed~? dang... ) i know you miss your parents and your sheng's bday is coming... i wish you can celebrate with them this year but den i know thats almost impossible... but pls do not worry, i know they still can feel you around them all the time~ i will be here to celebrate with you for today 冬至 but too bad no glutinous rice balls... hehe~! thanks for your wishes although there is really nobody who makes wishes during Dong Zhi... haha~! anyway.. like you said, you make the rules~!!! well everyone can start wishing now loh~ and your 4 wishes... they all have subwishes... so Jiao Hua arh you... its like : eg.
(i wish for a big house, inside have Gold Tap, Gold Bathtub, A Husky to watch the House, Unlimited Money, Unlimited Alcohol, Huge Swimming Pool, Basketball Court, Alot of Butlers, Sumptous meals... its just one wish only, for this house...) hahah~!!! 不是很好笑嗎？
你就是這麽的可愛~
ming ming, i really hope you can step away from your inner problems and really let yourself enjoy the world out there... you say you don't like to be the leading actress, only the supporting actress, but den, supporting actresses also have their days of leading the scene~ do not be afraid to step out of your circle as there are still plenty of things to discover outside of your comfort zone... done be afraid to step out, it maybe hard, you may fall... but do not worry, your comfort zone will never leave you, it will be there for you as a firm, strong backing that you always will have~ "to cry, is to let go of frustration" tears do not come easily? not neccessary... ai mian zi? what excuse is that... cry your hearts out is good, that is a relieve... cry when you need to, cry when you wish to.... that is a privilege for girls, which you must learn to accept oh~ you can never become a boy, you have a roots of a girl~ don't make me make you wear skirt haha~!
ok ok end my post here... Selamat Dong Zhi Festival~!!!
遗忘记录史 11:40 AM
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
這個entry是寫給一個女孩，叫明慧。。。
明慧這個名字，很普通吧。
可是這個女孩一點都不簡單。。。
明 : 明明知道自己心酸，
慧 : 卻用智慧來掩飾。
都說了不簡單了嘛。。。可惜那種死撐的樣子，誰看了都會不贊同啊。
每次每次看到你的快樂／笑容，雖然讓人看起來很真。但是也許是我看人看得多吧，
笑容裏永遠都有一種壓抑著的憂傷感。。。
發自内心的笑，也許現在拿了假期到遠方去旅行。。。
但是，它還是會回到你臉上的。
我和美，看到你哭的時候都會為你傷心。
我們每次都分擔不了你那種悲傷。
我們沒有遇到你面對的事實，是因爲這樣所以你不想，不敢，不願和我們分享你内心的痛駡？
或許我們會不明白哪一種痛楚的感覺，但是我們明白的是，你是我們很在意的一個朋友。。。
看完了你的部落格，感觸良多。
也知道他是無法替代的事實。
你沒有必要把他忘記，畢竟它是你這一輩子最應該永遠記得的回憶。
你可以一直的記得他的從前，但是你不能讓它成爲你將來的拖累。。。
記得他，想念他，這一切都是正常的只要是人都會這麽做。
很明顯可以看到你面對這件事情已經很堅強了，
我們身為朋友的，很希望你能在我們面前放下那強硬的一面，讓你的内心踏出來透透氣。
你不能永遠把自己藏起來，不讓關心你的人來關心你。
你為我們的復出，無謂的就是想看到我們不會落到你的這個地步。
你的用心我們深深感受到，雖然不說，但是一切都心照不宣。
可是，你一直只想把自己藏起來，我們卻一直想把你帶出你的陰影，這個拉鋸戰只會讓我們都兩敗俱傷。
你可以阻止自己不讓別人踏進你的世界，但是你不能阻止我們的堅持與努力把你從你的世界裏拉出來。
（有點怪怪的，聼起來不順。）
希望你到頭來會明白我的用心。我們不想逼你。要踏出來第一步，一定要你自己有所準備與願意才做得到。
我們在另一邊等著你的到來。我們不會離開。因爲我們是你的朋友。
就請你讓我們分擔一下你所有的一切。。。 你是個好朋友。
不是簡單的好朋友。就是那種，兩肋插刀，在所不辭的好好好好好好朋友。
快快走出黑暗吧。。。
我還在等。。。
我再等。。。
我一直等。。。
我還是要等。。。
等不到？還是會等。。。。
快點啊。。。我還在等噢～！
遗忘记录史 3:35 PM
*yawns* a hectic week had past... this new week has begun... the chalet had alot of happenings... me n her... we improved our rls. somebody got her wish and is together with who she has been in loved with all along~
san has finally sms-ed me and i saw her for awhile yesterday. she has slimmed down quite abit, told me she is training up for her NZ trip. been running and excercising those kind of things, but deep down i can see that her slimming down is abit on the unhealthy side, abit pale in the face and less round around the edges... well at least she is doing quite ok ba, just that her character has not changed abit... still with that wishful thinking that everything is alright... just really hope she will show me that she is grown up... at least in front of me... i know she is strong deep down but den... shes just not that strong when time needs her to be. Do take care when you are over there is all i can say to her now...
well... me and mei, we are working out quite fine i think. quite happy with the times we are together. every time spent is memorable and our first movies was Alvin & The Chipmunks, so farnie we laughed our hearts out despite being very tired over the night spent at chalet... sorry we had to take MC, we just had to have time together for that day. i get alot of feedback from friends that its all too fast and just unfair to san but den, its a feeling that i can't deny that mei is that person that i want... its not that i want to rush, just that the moment was really right to be together... we will prove to you all that our start was never a mistake ba... in time to come i hope...
well 2day wanted to tell ms A tt her "jia po" came to office but in the end received news that her mum actually had fits and hit her head hard. pray that her mum is alright, Ms A, you must be strong oh, use this change to learn to become strong and start facing the real world~ we as friends can only do our best to pray everything is alright.
and that ms JL, pls stop over reacting about your Mr GC FINALLY getting his album out... the Jay Chou Frenzy is not yet over and its always a truth that Nicky Lee got the award other that mr GC... over reaction from ms JL haha~ really farnie, she just cant stop talking about the album Sunshine or something... hope its a nice album, if not its gonna be as lame as the title sounds... haha~!
kk... wanna end here le... cos work is piling up and i dun have much time to settle all the things here... will be leaving 31st Dec... hope everythings gonna remain the same without me at this branch... its been a wonderful 3 years here... but den... my dream lies somewhere else... not here repeating my daily job day in day out... well... let me step out of this comfort zone for awhile... its definitely a relax place to work, and the work relationships with colleagues is the best one can get... everyone's everyones friends... thats all you need, all to be united as one~ you all will definitely blossom, but you guys must do it without me from now on~ you guys do do do do do take good care and don't cork up so much bookings, your manager is hard on his work to handle all those things, i understand his work load, i've been there, done that and left that post... its damn hard work oh... slog for shit and just get a lil reward~
thats all bye~ and erm Hari Raya Haji~!
遗忘记录史 2:39 PM
Saturday, December 15, 2007
today is a new day... her problem has been resolved... listening to Nicky Lee's Jie Tuo, alot of thoughts running through my head... i'm still thinking of how san is, having left her at the worst time in her life, still feeling bad... Even though I am to begin something new... but i think only until i know shes doing fine and when shes settled down over there then i guess i will be able to focus myself...
Sorry, i can't fully immerse myself into our current rls... i am trying my hardest to do my very best at every time we spent together... but that something still deeply weighs down on me... I will try hard i promise you, I am sorry if i do ever hurt any of you both, i guess its my indecisiveness that caused all of these chain reactions to happen.
yesterday i could not draw anything, not because of the crowd... its because my mind wasn't with me... theres too much running through my head, which i don't want to tell you, sorry i lied when i promised to tell the truth...
Hope you like the Collection Bears that i bought you yesterday, Both of them have basketball faces~! which you and i both liked~ i know u want me to have one... but i know you like them more so i rather you take both den to separate them~ hehe too bad they don't make ones that wear basketball jerseys... i will work hard to find don't worry, you will own one, one of these days to come.
Mood : Confused
Eyes : Tired from wearing Contact Lens, So Wearing Specs. (i never feel comfortable wearing specs, looking geekish)
Energy Level : should be higher at end of day, cos tmr going for chalet~!!! (can BBQ, cook cook cook cook & cook!!)
Working Attitude : pls don't balme me for being lazy nowadays, i have no more mood to work here... guess its cos of the hectic things around me... but i will try my best to serve as many customers as possible... afterall there are all but very limited places available to sell nowadays...
i'm still excited about the chalet... because i believe we can play bball there... thats the most important thing of all~ hehe!!!
遗忘记录史 9:45 AM
Friday, December 14, 2007
is it me? I'm not sure... tot that all these will be a new start... however, shes facing visa problems in singapore already... one month plus le and her company have not issued her a proper work permit... haiz... if she can't get her work permit by today, she will have to leave the country and can only be back earliest 06th Jan 2008... haiz~ how to say... sad? but cannot show her that I am sad... if i'm defeated, how will she feel? shes the one who is facing all these problems and yet have no way around it... i must show her that i am strong and around to support her~ (",)... but the tot of her leaving... just when we are starting... is definitely hurting... especially caused she spent so much time comforting me and not enough time to settle her own stuff... i'm feeling bad... real bad... those plans colleagues made in days to come, now cannot include her... how can such a nice person meet with such things... this is so unfair, *** its not your fault... pls do not be defeated by all these, you can pull through it one, do not worry. (",)
i hope the drawings that i drew can let your have something to refer to... pls do not be sad anymore... i wish you can really get your work permit by today and can stay on in singapore... sorry if i give you too much pressure... as i really do not wish for your to be leaving at a moment like this...
Song of the Day :
爱永远都是难题
失去分寸太容易
谁都是凡人不够小心翼翼
有时候忘了珍惜
伤害来的太无意
有时爱太急需要空间呼吸
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻
然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻
谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱
最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过
遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
让你哭泣对不起为了爱承受委屈
说过的承诺其实还没忘记
愈是在乎的关系愈是相处不容易
伤害了你我也失去勇气
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻
谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱最后的话
我来说
如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
走到感情关键时候却握不住你的手
还能有什么藉口让爱再回头
多少的爱说不出口
就让时间帮我说话我一个人拼命
挣扎总比两个人一起难过还好吧
如果分离是唯一的解脱
最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过
遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱
连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
爱着你唯一的解脱
遗忘记录史 12:34 PM
Thursday, December 13, 2007
在現在的我，已經是渡過風雨時期的我吧。
珊，我知道妳不想讓我知道妳現在如何。但是，我還是很想知道妳的進展，尤其是妳要飛離妳自己所屬於的窩。真的希望妳會好好過日子。到那裏記得要照顧好自己，畢竟那裏沒有妳的朋友。請原諒我從來沒有想過要和妳一起過去，因爲那不是我想要的生活。就此我覺得我們真的是抱著不同夢想的人，妳尋求的自由我給不到。所以我選擇了放手。有好幾次是我挽留妳，因爲我覺得還有希望。但是希望越來越薄弱，我的心也累了。。。
有人告訴過我，“你撐了那麽久才來説放棄，這個不像我認識的你。難道你沒有不捨得嗎？你有想清楚嗎？”提出分手的我，第一天非常非常的傷心。。。身邊的人，我不知道怎麽告訴他們我和珊的事情，只能回答“我不知道，她沒和我聯絡了，也許忙著要出國的準備。”每當我這樣子回復他們，心中一冷，不盡想起當初做出的決定是否對還是錯。原來分手心一定要狠。。。不然傷的還是自己和彼此的感情。。。
其實，現在也是時候讓大家知道了吧。。。有一個人的存在，這個人讓我從分手的失落感從新拾回自己。請大家不要誤會，並不是因爲她的出現我才想要分手的。之前與珊的愛情，都擁有著一種包容與等待幸福的感覺。。。可是呢，跟她在一起時，幸福的感覺是一直環繞在我們生邊。這種感覺很好，也許這是我一直尋找的感覺。。。那種有人陪，當兩人在一起時，彼此都是彼此關注的中心。有種心照不宣的好感，只要兩人在一起時，別的東西打擾手裏還是緊握著對方的手。你們應該會認爲我在做比較吧，但是我是把我和珊的感情與這個人的感情分開的想。你們會說我很可笑吧，明明就很明顯在做比較可是卻一直抵賴。。。哈哈~我不多說了吧。。。越瞄越黑。。。
但是，想讓她知道，跟妳在一起感覺真的真得很好。眼前的路會很辛苦，只要努力，過了前方的山，就是光明的路。。。我知道你思鄉的心情很沉重，我只能在妳身邊讓妳不去想這麽多。我沒辦法代替妳家人給妳的愛，但是我相信在你身邊給妳的愛，能暫時緩和妳思鄉的情懷。。。記得，這路上，不是只有妳一個人走。我會在妳的左右。只要妳不怕我跟的太緊，我會緊緊地跟著妳，不讓妳有跌倒的機會。對於妳工作的問題，既然妳已做好決定要留在這間公司，就不要讓任何的事情再去動搖妳的信念。不對就要去改，不可以一錯再錯了。。。
我畫的畫不好看，對不起。。。 嘻嘻~！
遗忘记录史 12:21 PM
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
昨天是她在這裡工作的最後一天。在繁忙的一天的結束后，我還為她帶來了如此深的傷痛。這不是我想要得結束方式。就算她表現得很堅強，背後還是感覺得到那深深的傷痕隱隱作痛。我不能說我也不是。寫那封信時的感覺是很心傷的啊。從來沒有分手過的我，終于提出了分手。就在她最需要我的時候我卻選擇離開，這不是我該做得可是我卻做了。。。
現在往回看，回憶似乎如排山倒海般的浮現在眼前。有種感覺告訴我“你做錯了，可是這是你必須作的事情。不要再讓你的執迷不悟讓兩個人努力撐到沒有結果的時候。這樣對彼此都不公平。”我對她的感覺雖然是變淡了，可是以一個曾經愛過的人還是會為她擔心留戀。請原諒我的不捨得因爲我很責備自己沒有用到更好的辦法與你分手。我曾經答應過妳要陪妳到妳離開到新西蘭才告別，但是我沒有對這個承諾儘起了責任我感到我很失敗。我有看見你努力的挽回但是我卻從我的角度一點也沒同心去進行。
我沒心情寫下去了。。。 哭了幾次，寫這個眼淚正在眶裏打滾。那些不知道發生什麽事情的人一直在提起她的名字，我不知道要怎麽面對這一切。我知道是我的錯，所以我不可以生氣或難過。我只好強忍。。。希望大家想怪就怪罪我，以前讓你們認爲的白頭偕老的金童玉女在此就告一個段落了。。。也不是她的錯。。。這個責任就由我擔下吧。。。
最後 ：珊，我真得很對不起妳。。。
歌曲 ：
Sunday, December 09, 2007
hehe~ new look for my blog~! hooray~ courtesy of the very kind agnes who help with the HTML thinga-maginga which i can never figure out. perhaps its my ignorance or is it my old age catching up that is limiting my ability to learn new things haha~!!! whatever it is, many thanks to agnes for helping with the blog~
now on with the blog ba...
bday just passed not long ago... lots of wishes from me friends of all ages and all sectors haha just kidding~ thanks for all the bday wishes~ seems like everyone is wishing me all the best yea? is that a cliche that is spreading around nowadays? all the best haha~
went around for movie some shopping and had a meal at Parris International Buffet Marina hehe~
Movie :
Bee Movie, quite a nice movie considering the sarcasm the movie held, language, character names, bee-human rls... haha well the Bee being a lawyer really seems erm.. out of point. however the movie is still nice overall but not gonna leave much memorable things to discuss in the future. haha~ sorry for being so critical
Shopping :
erm... Marina Square is not much of a place to shop maybe for me cos i'm no good shopper. haha just looking around is perhaps what i do most of the time. but what i look for is special things, new to the world of high technology, wonder to the ignorant haha~ saw a few neon-lit clocks charged at around S$ 149 ~ S$ 249 onwards... and erm saw this bday card which i find quite farnie... Ageing is Inevitable, Maturing is Optional... haha really is a great way to console ourselves of getting old haha~!
Dinner :
Thanks to san, i get a meal at Parris International Buffet... what a wide spread of meals available to eat from~! haha from Cold Plates to Appetisers to Sushi to Cooked Food to Dim Sum to Fried Stuffs to Satay (chicken/lamb), Shishamo, Chops (chicken/lamb/beef) to Ice Cream to Cakes/Desserts to Drinks (soft n juices) all available to choose from. what a meal man and the Oysters... big and watery woohoo~ nice nice nice! haha... a tinge of lemon and a bit of those garlic mixed chilli really lifts the taste of the oyster~ oops forget to check whether got pearl inside before i ate it... dang... now den remember... perhaps the pearl is swirling within my stomach nowadays... no wonder i feel something inside of me haha~ but its damn costly wor.... 40 +++ for dinner...
Bday Celebration :
haha thanks for the 10 paxs who showed up for the Kbox session and credits to those who stayed till the latest oh~ hehe! had a wonderful night at Kbox seeing ppl sing their hearts out and getting drunk overall. its always nice to see ppl pour their feelings into songs they picked~! singing from the soul is music to the ears even though the singer is out of tune~ singing with feelings is such a great thing~ thats what i love about going for K-sessions. its time where ppl show their true feelings in a dark place where ppl can't see what ur true feeling is, they hear it with their hearts through your voice. perhaps only in darkness can everyone be willing to throw out the inner feelings they have hehe~! a few nice singers at tt session, mAg (best singer for Stef's songs not bad at Fish's Chong Bai too), Tris (forever Elva & Zhang Shao Han), Hueyshan (Fish & A-mei wor... very high indeed), Bro (ed ele~) really feeling singer heheh~!, charlie (with her crazy crazy songs), kudos to Candice too for her erm few but nice songs too sorry made a mess of the song Chuang Wai haha started good but ended failing to complete properly... anyway wonderful time i guess everyone is tired of working at peak season. all thanks to my bday, we get to enjoy some time at relaxing haha~! thats what i like abt my bday most!!! although everyone came to office next day looking like the living dead haha~!!!
somethings big gonna happen within these few days... tmr is her last day at work le... really hope all the best for her... i dunnoe how to carry on from here... i know i have caused everyone quite alot of problems, i hope it didn't have to come to this stage however pls forgive me for all the things i have done to certain someone and ppl around us. i will try to settle everything from here, i know its not fair to you guys even if its gonna affect me i will still make what is suppose to happen, happen ba... well... i actually haven made any bday wishes yet... think no use le ba its already over... haha~! well "all the best"~
遗忘记录史 12:22 PM
Monday, December 03, 2007
wah... really 真的 very messy in here... woo hoo... all the furniture got 蜘蛛網... aiyo... still got 老鼠喔~ (老虎，老鼠，傻傻分不清楚~) give me sometime to clear things up first before i start.
5 minutes gone...
10 minutes gone...
a sweltering 30 minutes gone...
tiring 24 hours flies pass....
oh my god... i'm only half done...
(i know its lame... 我知道很無聊。。。just bear with me for awhile... 請通融一下。。。)
ok~!!! finally its done~!! my sofas' stuck on my ceiling and my walls are mostly torn down, well at least the fireplace is in the fire's place hehe~ time to get on with blog writing. *cracks knuckles*
hi all... thanks for reading... more than a year's absence is not expected from myself. unforgivable for being away so long. its not about work commitment nor rls probs haha live's been good to me so far, alot of liveable moments in life and erm... more or less an eventful year to be exact. great work have been done, alot of things accomplished i guess. well lets split it up to different sections to cover, so much to say so much to type... my poor fingers... damn... haha just kidding, they're getting a wee bit chubby from not getting enuff workout. look here comes Thumby 1 & 2, the most chubbiest of them all, getting its heavy weight all over that space bar~ surprisingly the space bar can hold its weight and bounce it right off~ "weee~!" goes Thumby 1 & 2... (sounds like nursery story telling... ah... those old days... xP oops haha dun mean i'm old haha) oh... those other fingies... indexi, middi, ringie and pinkie... all working so hard to shed off those extra weights... good for u lads~! muahaha~! work those fats~
Work Life :
Condition - Good
Environment - Comfortable
Work Relations - Lots of Friends so dun hafta worrie
Work Load - Increased, handled quite well i must say (at least less stressed than last year)
Customers - This year's customer has reached extremities~ first time i have seen such “鳥”ppl and erm... some of the most kindest customers as to specially go to a wonderful cake factory just to buy the best swiss rolls in Singapore to treat my office staff and me~ hehe such sweet lady should be blessed with a pleasant trip with full of heavenly surprises awaiting her~! wish her luck oh~!
However for those really lousy customers well... wish ya'll luck at your trips hope its good for you and hope u remember WHO made your trip possible and hope you remember that your lousy comments really affects what ppl think... to think customer service line really has its rewards but most of the times we spend is getting scolded and hurled at for mistakes that we do wrong... how much right can we do to cover up the scars that have been dealt to us? ooops... there goes my complain side... *ah bish* okie good knocked him our for now... damn rude for interrupting my entry. thats gonna put him to rest for the next erm... 2 secs haha!
Daily Mood -
~ Monday ---> the blues...
~ Tuesday ---> blue black from mondays beating... (only look forward to CSI Miami at nite, love all those gruesome gory crime scenes)
~ Wednesday ---> ladies night but not me wor...
~ Thursday ---> get whacked by the ladies on high...
~ Friday ---> get knocked around by weekend buzz
~ Saturday ---> what a drag to get home... all trains full...
~ Sunday ---> sunniest day of the week hehe~!
Family Life :
whats there to say haha... still the same old 3 persons living their own lives out.
Dad -
Sitting at home watching tv, smoking away on his 紅煙 (ang hun) grumbling nonsense whenever he sees the other two come home.
Well at least from end of November he decides to do something he have done before, Painting the whole house. Perhaps staying home most of the time made him felt that the paints really wearing off... well now least the living rooms looks like the interior of an indian temple haha~ well my rooms of a more warming colour~ Voilet haha not the best choice for a male however well i do like soft colour. haha~!
Mum -
slogging out at work daily... works early morning till late nite... really wish i could care more for her but haiz... my caring never last long... know i've been a bad son here and there most of the time (actually all of the time) haiz... i really erm... pity? or sympathise? seems a weird word to use on family members... well i really hope can give her a better life which she never got... whens that possible... time for me to wake up and do something for her... guess that will be my new year resolution (so typical of me... put off things to later... haiz... when will i ever change)
Me -
haha~ going to work trying to work myself to death. rather die at work than to die at home from endless nagging and criticism. although from certain points criticism is for my own good but when criticism gets tough and direct it gets hurting well thats what i feel though... turning deaf ear doesn't help as the deaf ear gets treated to even louder volume haha... no wonder i have hearing probs nowadays, that explains it very much.
Love Life :
well this years been a good year, with lots of favourable memories... been to Bubu Long Beach in Perhentian, Malaysia though its a boring lifeless place but its good for couples relaxing~ it was to be the most successful planned trip so far. well went to batam harris too~ not bad a place to land on haha the spa... i mean massage was damn *ugh* painful haha 1 hour of torment going on and on but well i came back refreshed hehe~! theres not much to say though well at the moment...
Well shes going to pursue her dreams soon, go out there into the vast wide world to view it from a different angle. respect the courage however really wish her thinking will 成長 dont always so reliant on something that she thinks is good to her. in the real world there is no place to put your trust except in yourself. well, wish her all the best of the best and hope that she can fulfil what she is looking for.
The rls we went through was precious, definitely esp since we went through so much to finally get together. however good things do not last... i do admit that abit hard to let go... but haiz... sometimes when u find something is precious to you and it doesn't weigh as much in other's opinion, not as much as what they are pursuing i guess it shows that the two of us are meant to travel in different directions. it may be hard to let go since it was myself who tried to salvage everything in the first place when it started to fell out of proportion... i guess thats life, paradoxical as it is, lots of contradictions. i mean, perhaps its my character or thinking that is affecting the rls now. when theres nothing to gain from, i feel that its better to let go, look forward and move on... well... at least thats what i think? selfish? or self centered? erm... i'm not very much sure about that...
At least i wish whats best for her and may her trip be worthwhile and in future may she be really blessed with good fortune. perhaps her stay is somewhere else away from mine =) all the best to you.
Bday is round the corner~! yeh~! 7th dec~! the day pearl harbour got hurled with bombs from bomber jets and kamikaze japanese soldiers... they are brave... but haiz... risking one's life to accomplish a mission. that kind of bravery is erm... to be praised but at the same time pitied... well its the bday that i wanna talk about. so many things i'm thinking of hehe~!
- laptop (that one i will save up to buy)
- basketball (4 all courts prefably) haha~
- lose alot of weight~! (at least 40 kg)
- earn more than enough greens to get married and start own business~
- yeap, i'm still yearning for that psychology degree...
- hope my knee gets better so i can start picking up sports again
- world peace? (am i kidding? yeapz of cos!! haha)
- hmmm... i must start thinking of something my friends can buy haha above one seems like non-purchaseable thingies *evil grin*
- actually can't think of anything... perhaps its because i bought most of the things i need hehe~ easily pleased haha~!
*ah bish* stop self-praising~!! *ah-bish* ("\(@_@)/")
okie lahz... its way past working time so should put down this as here... well... thats all for today, will try to update asap...
遗忘记录史 10:02 AM
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