rilly4gt10

[ Shed Off Station / 解脫 ]

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

sooooooo long ago since i opened up the blog wor... suddenly remember that i have this blog... went around to look at other's blog abit before writing. seems like some of them have also stopped for a moment... economy crisis leading to less cashflow to cover for the internet cost therefore = 0 entries since last year? looks like the economy crisis is taking its toll on bloggers as well...

onto the blog... been not feeling well recently. sleepless nights waking up at night... not sure whether its the bloody weather thats making me sleepless or the workload thats stressing me out. I don't have much work to do but the work i have is stressful... who likes to handle complain cases for your fellow compatriots can come and try out at my job... don't like to see compatriots having to fork out money of their own just because of some passenger's unhappiness or misarrangement from the company. Especially when i am once like them stemming up from the counter, it was a hard road nonetheless to reach this level. its all so ridiculous, this life i've been leading... the pay isn't enough to feed a family, which i already have started when i haven't even prepared saving for it at all. Starting from scratch is never easy. I have to work hard man... even if it really cause me my mental health i have to be there to earn that money... life is so not in my hands.

talking bout work... i asked a fellow work mate that is it hard to control the counter when you yourself rise from the counter. the reply? "yes, you cannot work with your colleagues when friendship is there, that is why i chose to change all of my fellow workers" "new people will not rebel or feel you illtreat them" actually what he said is none other than the truth. for us to have an easy time, we need to instil fear in the ones below us. so have past rulers/kings/leaders been doing this to achieve great success. i finally understand that there is no mutual understanding in this world but there is mutual manipulation, some even a monomanipulation. they built a fortress around them and they make use of others to complete her fortress while she ventures far and wide taking over mass lands and bask in the glory and riches of her gains from all over the world. Only this kind of people can survive, can lead and can thrive in this kind of environment. the better you think you treat a person, the better you hope that he/she reciprocates to you, the more they will disappoint you with their own actions. people change, they change alot and they change fast. perhaps once is enough to give the idea that this person is changing from good to bad, bad to worse, worse to hell... there is no worst after worse as hell is the next level. you cannot be bad-good or worse-bad, neither can you be worst-worse, you can only be hell to others... this is true, so true. a person does not choose his road, the road is already chosen, he just walks.

seeing some of the elderlys who came to book tours at the agency, i really feel happy for them as they have lived a life so long, so hard, especially during their times where they saw the whole world changed from simple to modern. they are still able to travel, they are all so cheerful... perhaps it is all past them, all the hardships, all the years, all the people they had to deal with... to see old people, it is really a blessed thing. Elderly people are talkative, but what they talk are knowledge, experience, opinions, suggestions valuable advises. its good to talk to elderly. i am happy to see them, respect them and interact with them... they are the ones who have put aside everything in life and want to enjoy the rest of their life in peace and enjoyment. perhaps it is only during these short few years that humans will really enjoy life the way it is, with all the knowings of things and seen all kinds of people. how i wish the whole world would be filled with elderly haha~ at least things will be slow moving enough for me to handle...

haven't slept well for the pass few days... feeling vexed... especially with new complain case all the time. its like a daily dose of vitamins, for my case complain case... its like taking drugs everyday... its deteriorating my health and stamina, slowly draining away at my life. to make it worst, the fight amongst the co's family dragged me into it to be the shield... its already tiring at my level, bringing me up to their level to be amongst the war, its not helping... neither is having fellows below causing problems with their slowly changing attitude. if you feel its not suitable for you to stay on, you can opt to leave. but i assure you, the outside world is not as relaxing workplace as your current one, i've been there before and returned.

i need to save up for my family.... its a family i have to keep alive and well. slog it out and they will have a better life ahead. especially for my wife and in future my children, you all will be my main push to carry on, my determination, my will to carry on. i want good in this world, i'm ignorant, i'm too honest, i need to change, be evil and my family will live in luxury~ cheers to stepping into darkness, its time for the change, hang in there my family, once the time comes, it is time for you all to enjoy life fully.

遗忘记录史 12:50 PM